He cried when he was teaching today. He cried silently, again, when I asked him a question after class.
He didn't post the homework on Friday as he said he would. He had an emergency, he said to the whole class. We were listening, keen to know what happened. He, for once, looked very old and tired, well, I guess he is, because he is retiring during fall this year. He was sad, terribly sad, deep down inside, and we all saw it.
He once told us at the beginning that he prepared his lectures with his best friends, both of them. They've been best friends for so many years, 14 years, if I remembered correctly what he said that day. There were two of them. But one had a disease. He told us a very detailed description of the illness, but I guess I accidentally fell asleep then.
She was in great pain that Friday, that was why he couldn't post the homework then. He had to bring her to the vet. It was a terribly long wait he said. The doctors tried their best, and he was given a choice. He had to decide. Right there and then.
He went to see her, she couldn't remember him, her best friend for 14 years. She was in great pain. He laid beside her, to comfort her at least. But she didn't even realize he was there. He stayed there, for some time. But he couldn't stand it, the pain she had to go through, he had to put a stop to it. He had to decide.
He choked when he said ,
"I had to put her to sleep"
to the whole class.
There was silence, everyone was quiet. We waited. He sobbed.
But, life must go on.
He continued teaching. Till the end of class.
---
I stood as I waited for him to explain.
He was disturbingly quiet in front of the board.
Thinking ? Maybe..
But he shed a tear. Again.
The lecture hall was empty, except for the professor, and the lab assistant who watched silently and I.
I stood there waiting, saying nothing. I didn't know what to do or to say. But waited, patiently till he composed himself once again.
He explained briefly again, I understood, and I thanked him,
and then I left.
---
I felt his sadness, and his pain.
But yet the loss, it's hard to explain.
0 had said their words:
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